Tuesday, May 5, 2009

It's all about Blaine...

Sorry girls for being out of sorts lately. I have had something that has been bugging me and it's not going to go away and I'm hoping if it's out in the open I might start to feel better.
My little man was diagnosed last week with Aspergus Syndrome. He was assessed and diagnosed immediately by a proffessor and I think because it was so quickly it has been a slap in the face.
I have a niece and nephew that both have it and a cousin, so when it was spoken about, it was never for me to point the finger and say yep thats him too. I actually thought he was a normal 6 year old that bounced off the walls and was emotional because it has only been me and him from day 1. But sadly not the case.
Last week was a trip back to the Peadiatrtian to which he has also diagnosed him with ADHD. This poor kid has not only 1 thing to deal with, he has 4. He has started medication so time will tell I suppose, but they make him feel a bit sick so who knows whats next.
So our next few months are in and out of doctors and specialists, teacher interviews not to mention the norm of work, sports etc....
So here I am spilling it all, blaming my self due to the emotional pregnancy I had with him after the husband left and I feel tired... so so tired. I look in the mirror and see a fat, aging, lazy mother that needs to get it together for her childs sake. I was vacuuming the floor and burst into tears and I think it has all just hit me. Can somebody hit the pause button for me...PLEASE.
I don't think me spilling it has made me feel better but there you have it. We will be fine, a well deserved holiday is needed and time out for the both of us. So thanks for listening and sorry for burding you all with my crap, I figure the few that read this are my friends so thanks for the ears.

9 comments:

Eve said...

Lorrie my hugs thoughts and wishes are with you during this terribly hard journey you are about to begin . Stay positive and be strong for Blaine he needs you and also be true to yourself ...take some time for you also ...
chat soon darling
hugzz Eve

Anthea said...

Hey Lorrie, you cant blame yourself, as much as you want to, you need to look forward and move on, take it day by day and be strong, I know you are. Baine loves you and will continue to do so and this is what you need to focus on. HUGS to you and your little man

Crystal Bowman said...

Awww Lorrie I'm sorry you're going through a hard time right now, be the girls are right - stay positive because you're blessed to have such a beautiful son who loves you unconditionally, no matter what!

Love Scrappin' said...

Ohhh Lovey..you are so hard on yourself..you are a great mum and don't ever doubt yourself..Blaine loves you unconditonally and I'm sure everything will be ok.

Ange said...

so, he's different, that's not a bad thing, its just a thing that you will have to deal with and knowledge is power here Lorrie so when you are ready, research talk to others (not just your family) read, be strong, challenge the status quo, get other opinions, don't just accept one and for god sake challenge the medication if its making him sick

Ange

Lyndall said...

Sending cyber hugs Lorrie. This is not your fault. You are a good Mum and Blaine is a good kid.

sharon said...

LORRIE ditto what the others have said about your mothering ability and Blaine's love for you You 2 are a strong little team together - i see that all the time when i drop in!!
Understandably you are overwhelmed by this new knowledge and how to deal with it. Taking one day at a time will help and remembering that nothing has changed about who you are and who Blaine is and what you have built together - all that has changed is you have a 'name' for his condition.
Ange has a good point about the medication - often dietary considerations are more helpful at changing behaviours than drugs - have seen this with na few kids i have taught Would love to chat to you about what i know when and if you need that hugs to you both and have a super Mother's day xxxxl

Tracy Firth said...

Oh Sweet - I didnt know that this was going on in your life until I just read your post. Thinking of you and will hopefully chat soon. Sorry I have been MIA a bit lately but with being sick and now trying to get the house ready to sell - soon I will be in the same State - and hopefully just around the corner and we can 'really' get together for a chat.
HUGS

jazzii said...

oh lorrie, i'm sorry i missed this post. sending you and blaine ({[ hugs ]})! please dont doubt your capabilities as a mother - that is a wasted emotion. you're doing a great job so keep on doing what you do best > being blaine's mum. (and ur a great forum owner too!) x